09 August 2009

Everybody Plays the Fool

Why do we fall for the wrong ones? Mess over the ones... that one.. that truely wants you. Just for the other, to be with the other one... the one that could give a damn about you. "You're my lady." Ha! I fell for that.

The girl that made that mistake. I said it would never, no, could never be me. That turned around to bite me in the ass. Karma.

As a little girl I once wished that I would fall in love. Damn those fairy tales. Filling my head with false hopes... that I could actually find love... a love that loved me back. Guess I should've been more careful with my wishes.

I lost something real... that had potential... all because i fell for your act. Well, take your bow. You entertained the fool. Shame on me.

All I ever asked of you was honesty. Truth. My mistake, I thought you could handle that.
Sharing of horoscopes. Pet names. I was your "Abby," you were my "Chowder." Ha! Cute.

My friends slandered your name, knowing you were no good for me. Did I listen? NO. Even your friends knew it wouldn't work. I wanted to prove them wrong. What I didn't realize was that I had lost the fight before it even begun.

"She's just a friend" Ha! .... 6 years. And that's it? Nah slim. I ain't that dumb. I told you once before, I know more than you think. But not only did i play dumb, I played the fool.
"Why are you so concerned with other girls?" Because I knew... deep down... that I was never really what you wanted. But why? Why keep me around? That's what I just couldn't understand.
"Baby you my heart." Ha! I believed that too. I give you one thing. You're a pretty good liar.
How do you lie about love? Played with my emotions. Did you ever once feel any guilt? Did you ever really care?.....

Was I really that weak? From what? Your smile... your touch... you did something to me. You led me to believe that you cared. All the walls, I let them down... I let you in... even knowing your past. Foolish of me.

"Single Again. Back on the prowl." That status I made. It was a joke. But the tears I shed that night... were real. The tears that I shed now.... You cried too. Those tears, like your love.... were a lie.

I begged for your forgivness. You? Forgive me? Backwards little me. I can't believe you almost had me thinking it was my fault.

I stuck around. Thinking I could make you love me. I should've known better. I tried to ignore... deny it... until it was just too obvious. In my face. Too obvious to ignore.
I should've let go sooner. When the texts became fewer... shorter. When the calls stopped coming... When our late night convos became... non-existant.

My love gave you too much power: the power to hurt me. You left me long before I had finally decided to let go. Heartbroken. But not lost...

"Empower Your Being." Tatted on my side. A reminder that I must love me before I expect someone else to. Self-love is the best love.

I will always cherish the original misconception I had of you....

"I love you." Ha! The funnest joke you could've ever told me.

1 comment:

  1. I Love..
    You have a gift.
    I love it. wanna read morreee.